The Gay Trainer: Up Close and Personal.

When I was a trainer at what was then Brannon Street Gold's Gym in San Francisco (now Fitness SF) it was pretty much accepted that if you walked in the door, you were gay. Yes, there were exceptions: Applying the "10% rule" at that gym, ten percent of the members were probably straight. It didn't matter because it was already a melting pot for gay culture and being a straight man created a sometimes pleasant, eye-raising distraction. This was/is the gym where the transgendered tried on their new identities, bears romped, pornstars pumped, and the steamroom had its own listing in the Damron Guide.

If you're a in your 30's or younger, being gay is becoming less of an issue since being gay is more "out" than ever. But being out was not always a choice: The choices were fear and shame, often prosecution, and sometimes death. As older gay men, we grew-up with a kind of strategic hyper-sensitivity (intuition or gaydar) that kept us very aware of our environments. This non-stop, often playful vigilance allowed us to move about more freely and "turn it on or turn it off" when needed. In other words, you knew when it was time to butch-it-up or when it was safe to kick up your heels (I'm gonna catch hell from the "str8 acting" contingent for that remark).

This extra sensitivity cuts in all directions and is especially handy when it comes to dealing with training clients. Call it a burden or blessing - I prefer the latter - this intuition is invaluable when dealing with body image issues. Like it or not we live in a fast-paced, hyper-visual society that's more and more about vanity rather than values. I'd like to think that as gay men, having traveled the road to acceptance we'd be a little more compassionate but we're no better, often worse, than our straight counterparts.

Clients come to me with real health-related issues (high blood pressure, obesity, diabetes) and also very real societal-related issues (rejection, loneliness, I want a boyfriend). The health problems can be addressed with exercise, a healthier diet and lots of motivation. But that dialog running in a client's head, that dialog of "not enough", requires a lot of handholding, listening, and sharing of experiences. Therapy is beyond the scope of my practice but I have witnessed the positive changes that healthy eating and exercise can have, and not just physical changes but a healthier outlook on life as well. Been there. Done that. It does get better.

Gay or Str8?

As a gay trainer, the worst, most bewildering part of the job is dealing with homophobia that comes from unexpected places: Other gay men. Yes, I'm still dumbfounded by the odd, queer remark that comes from a car filled with guys shouting "faggot", but gay-grown homophobia is a slur no less. A slur because as gay men (and women) we're all in the same boat and fighting the same battle. However you fancy yourself, "str8-acting" or "on the DL", don't be an asshole! Pretending that you're not gay (but ya are Blanche) doesn't make you less gay, just more self-loathing.

Acceptance starts with YOU contrary to the belief that it comes from others. Whether you're overweight, gay (out or closeted), feel you're not attractive, not a dapper dresser - any dialog in your head that makes you feel "less than" - the change has to begin in your head and heart. As a gay man, as a gay trainer I've been down that road of acceptance and not only with my sexuality but my feelings of less than (fat, unattractive, clothing from Sears). This isn't to say that straight folks haven't made the same journey. But being accepted in a society that, in some places, still finds me unacceptable because of my sexual preference made the road a lot steeper with a lot of self-discovery along the way.

Sex It Up! Training Makes it Better in Bed!

Yup. I'm pitching that working out and training hard makes for a better sex life. Own it! Don't shy away! The benefits of exercise are well-known and it shouldn't be surprising that those benefits extend into the bedroom. It's been said that our most powerful sex organ is our brain and if you're feeling better about yourself, a big benefit of exercise, you'll feel better in bed. This is not about being at 7% body fat or having rippling muscles, it's about what exercise can do for our metabolism and self-esteem.

The benefits of exercise are proven:

Improved Cholesterol Levels
Prevention of Type II Diabetes
Improved Mobility and Endurance
Stress Reduction
More Restful Sleep
Improved Self Esteem

In men, testosterone plays a big role: weight, age, and fitness level are factors. While there's still much research to be accomplished it's clear that exercise improves testosterone levels. All exercise helps to improve testosterone levels but lifting weights and other types of strength training have more pronounced effects! This doesn't mean just working your chest and biceps, it means getting many muscles groups involved by doing full-body workouts. Push yourself to use heavier weights and do lower reps with brief periods of rest in between sets.

Be honest with yourself and clear about your goals and enlist the help of a personal trainer for new workout strategies. A trainer can help with new routines, how to lift safely, and discuss healthy eating. Have fun and you'll leave the gym feeling great with lots of energy for other activities!

Fitness Paradise: San Diego!

A year ago I arrived in Palm Springs and now it's time to leave. So soon, you ask? Palm Springs has been a little strange for me. Okay, it's been weird. I realize everyplace has it's "weirdness", especially having lived in a city like San Francisco, but Palm Springs has been weird times 10.

I've decided that Palm Springs is not part of California. Its glitzy-esque, nostalgic glamor lends it as more of an outlier of Las Vegas. It's a patchwork of vacant lots, shuddered businesses and nude resorts. Walking-types beware (there aren't many here): You'll find that sidewalks, if any, suddenly narrow, end, disappear altogether, or are squarely blocked by a palm tree.

Having escaped the fitness craze is another reason for my decision that Palm Springs is not part of California. For all the great weather and sunshine, you won't find too many people enjoying it. As I observed, there aren't many people that walk or bicycle. It's a place where cars rule and folks like to drive...fast! Except for a small area downtown, it is not pedestrian friendly. And as for a good cup of coffee or a decent loaf of bread? Forget it.

For all of Palm Springs shortcomings and weirdness, the one saving grace is its natural beauty. This is the desert, and regardless of the colorful, exotic, over-watered landscaping, those majestic, weathered hills loom as a reminder that this city is contrived and is nothing without precious water. You'll find a lot of great people here and even more characters, too. Palm Springs has a "let it all hang out" attitude and some like to let it hang to the ground.

San Diego, my quintessential California. Growing up in the parched desert of Eastern Utah, it's no wonder it was the dream spot of my youth. My Aunt Aggie, a goddess of a woman living in Chula Vista not far from the beaches, would collect and mail sea shells that smelled and tasted of brine. Whether or not they really came from those beaches was irrelevant to three young boys living in a coal mining town. The dreams they inspired, and continue to inspire, were richer than the gift itself: The ocean, year-round sunshine, young-minded people, forward thinkers, new ideas, people with purpose, and lots of good vibrations.

San Diego is definitely part of California with it's gentle temperatures and moist breezes from the ocean. It's a hotbed for fitness buffs and you'll find all varieties in the water, on the streets, up in the mountains, and all in between. It's a personal trainer's paradise with an abundance of health-conscious folks seeking guidance and motivation. If there's an empty patch of grass, you can bet a boot camp will pop-up there sooner than later. Fitness is relatively new in our national, social consciousness and cities like San Diego are setting the pace. Come and visit!

ASR Search Engine