The Gay Trainer: Up Close and Personal.

When I was a trainer at what was then Brannon Street Gold's Gym in San Francisco (now Fitness SF) it was pretty much accepted that if you walked in the door, you were gay. Yes, there were exceptions: Applying the "10% rule" at that gym, ten percent of the members were probably straight. It didn't matter because it was already a melting pot for gay culture and being a straight man created a sometimes pleasant, eye-raising distraction. This was/is the gym where the transgendered tried on their new identities, bears romped, pornstars pumped, and the steamroom had its own listing in the Damron Guide.

If you're a in your 30's or younger, being gay is becoming less of an issue since being gay is more "out" than ever. But being out was not always a choice: The choices were fear and shame, often prosecution, and sometimes death. As older gay men, we grew-up with a kind of strategic hyper-sensitivity (intuition or gaydar) that kept us very aware of our environments. This non-stop, often playful vigilance allowed us to move about more freely and "turn it on or turn it off" when needed. In other words, you knew when it was time to butch-it-up or when it was safe to kick up your heels (I'm gonna catch hell from the "str8 acting" contingent for that remark).

This extra sensitivity cuts in all directions and is especially handy when it comes to dealing with training clients. Call it a burden or blessing - I prefer the latter - this intuition is invaluable when dealing with body image issues. Like it or not we live in a fast-paced, hyper-visual society that's more and more about vanity rather than values. I'd like to think that as gay men, having traveled the road to acceptance we'd be a little more compassionate but we're no better, often worse, than our straight counterparts.

Clients come to me with real health-related issues (high blood pressure, obesity, diabetes) and also very real societal-related issues (rejection, loneliness, I want a boyfriend). The health problems can be addressed with exercise, a healthier diet and lots of motivation. But that dialog running in a client's head, that dialog of "not enough", requires a lot of handholding, listening, and sharing of experiences. Therapy is beyond the scope of my practice but I have witnessed the positive changes that healthy eating and exercise can have, and not just physical changes but a healthier outlook on life as well. Been there. Done that. It does get better.

Gay or Str8?

As a gay trainer, the worst, most bewildering part of the job is dealing with homophobia that comes from unexpected places: Other gay men. Yes, I'm still dumbfounded by the odd, queer remark that comes from a car filled with guys shouting "faggot", but gay-grown homophobia is a slur no less. A slur because as gay men (and women) we're all in the same boat and fighting the same battle. However you fancy yourself, "str8-acting" or "on the DL", don't be an asshole! Pretending that you're not gay (but ya are Blanche) doesn't make you less gay, just more self-loathing.

Acceptance starts with YOU contrary to the belief that it comes from others. Whether you're overweight, gay (out or closeted), feel you're not attractive, not a dapper dresser - any dialog in your head that makes you feel "less than" - the change has to begin in your head and heart. As a gay man, as a gay trainer I've been down that road of acceptance and not only with my sexuality but my feelings of less than (fat, unattractive, clothing from Sears). This isn't to say that straight folks haven't made the same journey. But being accepted in a society that, in some places, still finds me unacceptable because of my sexual preference made the road a lot steeper with a lot of self-discovery along the way.

Sex It Up! Training Makes it Better in Bed!

Yup. I'm pitching that working out and training hard makes for a better sex life. Own it! Don't shy away! The benefits of exercise are well-known and it shouldn't be surprising that those benefits extend into the bedroom. It's been said that our most powerful sex organ is our brain and if you're feeling better about yourself, a big benefit of exercise, you'll feel better in bed. This is not about being at 7% body fat or having rippling muscles, it's about what exercise can do for our metabolism and self-esteem.

The benefits of exercise are proven:

Improved Cholesterol Levels
Prevention of Type II Diabetes
Improved Mobility and Endurance
Stress Reduction
More Restful Sleep
Improved Self Esteem

In men, testosterone plays a big role: weight, age, and fitness level are factors. While there's still much research to be accomplished it's clear that exercise improves testosterone levels. All exercise helps to improve testosterone levels but lifting weights and other types of strength training have more pronounced effects! This doesn't mean just working your chest and biceps, it means getting many muscles groups involved by doing full-body workouts. Push yourself to use heavier weights and do lower reps with brief periods of rest in between sets.

Be honest with yourself and clear about your goals and enlist the help of a personal trainer for new workout strategies. A trainer can help with new routines, how to lift safely, and discuss healthy eating. Have fun and you'll leave the gym feeling great with lots of energy for other activities!

Walk Two Miles and Call Me in the Morning

Walking is man's best medicine. Hippocrates

One. One. One. Two. One. One. Three. Four. One. One. One. One... That's the number of people in the cars that zoom past me on my daily walks. Most are big, high occupancy vehicles wheeling down the street with driver only behind the wheel. But lets be honest: Cars aren't going to disappear anytime soon. As much havoc as they wreak on the environment, think of the economic disaster that would ensue if they were to vanish tomorrow.

I consider myself lucky to not own a car. I'm fortunate to live in a place where work is a short jaunt and there are plenty of services nearby with others accessible by a bus or trolley ride. Where I live, it would be more of a hassle to drive to the grocery store rather than walking there and carrying the stuff back home. After all, people do pay serious bucks to schlep all kinds of things across parking lots during boot camp. Why not put it to use?

We spend the day driving from one box to the next. We leave the house (box) in the morning, get in the car (box), and drive to work (box). Then after work we drive (car box again) to the gym (box), and back home (box) again. We put the miles on our cars, but our legs don't get much action.



Walking is an integrating activity for our body: top to bottom, front to back, left to right. Without giving it much thought (if any) we put one foot in front of the other and away we go! It's a great way to burn calories, about 250 per hour. When you're on foot take long, thoughtful strides along with deep breaths. With age, those steps become shorter and shorter and soon we're not walking but shuffling down the street side-to-side. Lead with your pelvis, your center of gravity, rather than leaning forward with your chest. And as much as possible, keep your chin up glancing downward with your eyes rather than your entire head.

A teacher once said that walking was like dancing: sometimes you're in step, sometimes you're not. But practice and the beauty of it becomes apparent.

Hooked on Foods that are Convenient and Inexpensive?

There are no words to express my shock and dismay after reading this article in today's Sunday New York Times: There is "...a conscious effort — taking place in labs and marketing meetings and grocery-store aisles — to get people hooked on foods that are convenient and inexpensive."

Your Fitness Journey. Creating a Map for Success!

One month into working on your New Year's fitness resolutions , it's time to make an assessment of your progress. Don't be hard on yourself but use this time to take an honest look at where you've come from and where you're headed. Oh, you say you really didn't set any goals except that you know you wanted to shed a few pounds. Oh, you say you didn't really have a plan to get to the gym. Eating plan? What eating plan?

I worked at Costco and we had a saying: Plan the work and work the plan. But a plan is just a car running on empty unless you put a goal in the tank, a motivator. Your goal needs to be specific. The more specific a goal the greater chances of success. Don't just say you want to lose a few pounds, put the number in writing.

Is your goal measurable? That is, how do you plan to measure your activity? A scale? Tape measure? Amount of weight lifted? Many of my clients would never consent to body measurements, let alone get on a scale while I was standing there. They preferred something more subjective and for them, less intimidating. The most common was how they looked or felt in their clothes. Fair enough!

Can you attain this goal? Maybe it's not a case of wanting but needing. If you've just come from your doctor and been informed that your cholesterol and blood pressure are elevated and that you need to lose weight, that changes the dynamic. In fact, it becomes more urgent and hopefully more motivating than simply wanting to lose weight.

How relevant or connected is your goal to you? Your desire to try powerlifting may not fit with an overall goal to lose weight. In fact, the reverse may happen and you'll find yourself buying larger clothes.

And finally, when is this all going to happen? Adding the element of time to goal-setting is a powerful motivator. It can be any arbitrary date in the future: Perhaps a calendar holiday or vacation getaway (yes, fitting into a square-cut swim suit is a good motivator).

Goals: Specific. Measurable. Attain-able. Relevant. Time-bound - SMART. Set yourself up for success and enjoy the journey!

Hiring a Personal Trainer 101

You've just come from the doctor and you've been told that you need to shed 15 - 20 pounds, you're blood pressure is up, and your cholesterol numbers need improving. To make matters worse, there's a history of Type II diabetes in your family and you're a good candidate unless your diet improves. But where do you go from here? Frankly, doctors aren't much of a resource when it comes to accomplishing these tasks. You'll get some general orders about eating right and exercising, and if your numbers are bad enough, you'll be put on medication.

Your choices are daunting. There are hundreds of diets out there promising one thing or another. Many employers and some HMO's reimburse their members for a gym membership, but what do you do once you get there? This is where you may want to consider hiring a personal trainer to get you started in the right direction. A trainer can provide a good starting point for healthy eating tips and safe, effective exercise. Finding the right trainer for you can be difficult, as well. Here are a few considerations:

Watch. Look. Listen.

One of the easiest things to do is to watch a potential trainer interact with his clients. This can take several days or several weeks. Is the trainer attentive to his client or is he on the phone and/or chatting with others during the session? Do the exercises this trainer is using seem like something you'd be interesting in doing? Does this trainer have a professional demeanor?

Ask Questions.

You may know the client that the trainer is working with so not why inquire about their experience with this trainer. Is the trainer on time? Is he courteous? Does he listen to the needs of his client? Would this person recommend this trainer? Ask the trainer directly with questions and concerns. Be clear about your goals when speaking with a potential trainer: The answers provided will give you an idea about this person's abilities.

The Fine Print.

You need to ask your potential trainer for three important documents: A training certification, proof of liability insurance, and a valid CPR certification. Some clubs/gyms require these documents as part of the training agreements with their trainers (incredibly, some don't) but it doesn't hurt to ask. Trainers and/or clubs may require contracts with their clients, as well. Read the fine print!

And finally, look forward to having fun with your trainer. The experience can be a rewarding one for both parties. Don't rely solely on your trainer for guidance. Arm yourself with some good reading about the topic(s) in which you are interested and take charge of the changes you want in your life. Happy New Year!

What's in Your Shopping Cart?

Show me the content of a man's shopping cart, and I'll tell you about that man. I just made that up. Actually, I think a better picture of a person's tastes and habits would be a glimpse into their refrigerator. But the stuff didn't suddenly appear. There was some kind of motivation to take it off a shelf, pay for it, and bring it home. Was it hunger? Was that motivation health-related? Or was the grab an impulse buy?

I don't go shopping without a list partially because I get to the store and forget what I needed and because that list steadies my hand in the face of temptation. You won't find prepared foodstuffs in my kitchen: No Rice-a-Roni (what the hell is that stuff?), no prepared entrees, and save me from jarred pasta sauce (they all taste the same). My last partner brought home this package of mystery meat "marinated" in, I swear, something reminiscent of formaldehyde.

I'm fortunate on the culinary front to have the skills to make things from scratch. The biggest impediment isn't preparation skills, it's the time needed to make healthy food. In one of my trade journals an article detailed the high costs of eating junk food. Not only were prepared, processed foods made of poor quality ingredients they are packed with fat, sugars, sodium and chemicals you can't even pronounce. The article featured a favorite chef, Mark Bittman, roasting a chicken and preparing veggies in about an hour. But, you still have to buy the bird, take it home, cook it, and that takes time. The article doesn't even mention the amount of skill (relatively low) needed to make this meal. Even after you've learned to cook a bird, again, it still takes time. Therein lies the lure of prepared, processed food.

Just for fun, here's my marinara sauce that's easy to prepare. The onions, cooked until golden, will sweeten this sauce. I make a good-sized batch so I can portion and have it in the freezer. Of course, it's not only great for pasta but it's also a great base for chili, as well.

Not-So-Basic Marinara Sauce

Yellow onion, peeled, chopped coarsely, 1 medium
Olive oil, extra virgin, 1/4 cup
Whole thyme or rosemary, 1/2 teaspoon
Bay leaves, 2 whole
Fresh black pepper, 1/2 teaspoon or to taste

In a large pan over medium heat, cook the chopped onion in the olive oil with the thyme, bay leaves, and fresh black pepper until the edges of the onion start to turn gold-brown.

Fresh garlic, peeled, coarsely chopped, 4 whole cloves
Salt (sea salt, if you have it), 1 teaspoon

This is the time to add the garlic and salt. Any sooner and you'll risk burning. Cook it until you can smell the fragrance coming up from the pan. Then add...

Canned, crushed tomatoes with liquids, 4 - 14oz cans
Water or chicken stock, 1 cup
(Optional) Red wine, 3/4 cup

Let the sauce come to a boil while stirring the reduce then heat to medium low and simmer for about an hour. That's it! Time will take care of the rest. Give it an occasional stir and adjust the salt and pepper as desired. Let it cool, portion as needed, and freeze.